Been Wanting

Now that i am really
in a relationship, i
am more aware, more cautious
of not putting any negative
thoughts in the blog.

Its like i refuse to let,
show the negativity (issues?
problems? or just my feelings?)
on paper, typed and make
it real.

It is real. But then
it will pass. It always pass.
But it also comes back.
And it comes in circle, a roller
coaster ride. Up and down. Happiness,
pleasure and pure love balanced
with the tears, sadness, and
frustration.

Deep in my heart, i know
and believe all the good
in our relationship.

Its when i am down, am sad,
am tired, when hormones played a
trick on my brain and heart,
thats when i sometimes crumble
and succumb to temptation.

Temptation to become pushy, clingy,
obsessed, insecure.

I am not that. I am strong.

My friends said that. I know
that. Cuma, sometimes
in my weaker moments, i slip.

And of course im not
at fault. I am only human.
To add at that, i am a female.
Yes, a female with emotions.

No matter how practical or logic
i can be, i am still a female.

Isn't that what attracts you
to me?

That i am me. And that i am different
from other girls.

Please reflect on that
when ever you become frustrated
and angry with me.

Cos i have never been out
of love with you. No matter
what you do or say to me.

I am in love with you.
Always been.
Will always be.

Always. (your words)