Sunday, September 19, 2010

Quite A While

Am not feeling so good.

Am sad, confused, angry... I just want to cry but i can't. Am so used to held it up tight inside.

And worst, i dont know who to talk to. Nor do i think i have anyone to talk to.

Cos its been months since i talk to someone about this, and pour my heart out.

At least am not as desolete and pathetic as i was 5 mths ago. Am better now.

But sometimes, the feelings still came. Not easily pushed away or forgotten, it crept inside my head and my heart, slowly, agonizingly. When before you can ignore and swipe it away, forgotten a while, until it governs up and came bawling to me, up to a point wher i cant deny it no more.

Especially when i am at my weaker moments.

Oh i am strong, but as tough and willful as i am, i am still human. Very much female.

I have feelings.

Even now as i am typing this, i am beginning to feel light headed, like im about to faint.

Thats what happened when i keep it bottled up inside me. It becomes unbearable.

I'm just confused that's all.