Am I Ready?

I regret it.

I regret the fact that when
he said, 'i rasa i dah
ready tok settle down',
i freak out, wouldn't
meet him in his eyes,
and keep on talking as
if he never said anything.
Twice.

I regret that.
Cos now, i don't know
how to approach the subject.

Like, should i
'Laling, ingat tak u penah
cakap ari tu, pasal...'

Or, 'Laling, i am ready.'

Ready for what?

Sigh.

I want to explain why
i freaked out.

I know some of my close
friends were like,
how come you freak out?
i thought this is what you want?
bla bla bla.. yeah yeah.

I thought so too.

But i freaked out.
Period.

So, i guess i wasn't ready
as i thought i was.

But after the event,
the day after, i sit
on the subject and
ponder.

And think to myself
hey, i am ready.

I have been ready
since i realise that
i fell in love
with him on 22 April 2008.

He is the only guys i
could think of of saying YES
when he ask (not if).

I remembered all the guys
that have asked me before.
I remembered mostly Rizal.
He was then, my number 2
guy. Number one, of course has
and always been my bf la.

When Rizal approached
the marriage subject, there
was no hesitation and doubt
in my mind to say No.

But whenever i imagine
my bf asking me, i am certain
and know whole heartedly,
without a doubt
that my answer is Yes.

So, yeah.
I am ready.
Truthfully said, i can't wait
to start living my life
with him.

I imagine it will be more
challenging and 'colourful'
and unpredictable than what
we are going through.

I mean, look at us. We
are two different person. But
we clicked. We challenge
each other, support each
other, love each other.
And understands each other.
Enough toleration and communication
and spunk. And annoyance
and irritation and ego too.

What's the reason for me
to settle down?

Cos i am head over heels
in love with him?

YES.

Cos i know he is the one?

YES.

Cos he is my prince charming?

YES.

Cos he is the perfect man for me?

YES.

Cos he can controls me, and i respect him and
try my best to accept him for who he is?

YES.

And yes, me and him,
we have this chemistry
that is totally undeniable.
Sparks actually surrounds us
and shoots across the room
and people around us reacts
to it.

Trust me, you have to be
there, to believe it!

Sigh, to be in love..

So, yes i am ready.

The fact that i don't know
how to cook, doesn't stop me.

The fact that i am not ready for
kids, doesn't deter me away.

The fact that i still treasure my freedom
and my alone time, doesn't change my mind at all.

The fact that i have lots more goals and dreams
to do, be achieve and grasp, doesn't deter my spirit.

I want to start living my life
together with him.

I am ready!